October 27, 2021

A Little Sports Humor

Why Athletes Can’t get a job other than their sport:

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: “I want
all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan’ all the kids to
copulate me.”
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New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming
season:”I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.”
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And, upon hearing Joe Jacobi of the ‘Skins say: “I’d run over my own
mother to win the Super Bowl”.Matt Millen of the Raiders said:”To win,
I’d run over Joe’s Mom, too.”
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Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
“He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.”
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Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann, 1996:”Nobody
in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman
Einstein.”
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Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: “I’m going to
graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.”
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Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with
promoter Don King:”Why would anyone expect him to come out
smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton.”
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Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps
a color photo of himself above his locker: “That’s so when I forget
how to spell my name, I can still find my clothes.”
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Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of
heavyweight Andrew Golota:”He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock
in the morning regardless of what time it is.”
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Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to
Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:”My sister’s
expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an
aunt.”
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Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: “I told him,
“Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?” He said,
“Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.”
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Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he
told a player who received four F’s and one D: “Son, looks to me like
you’re spending too much time on one subject.”
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Amarillo High School and Houston Oiler coach Bum Phillips when asked
by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips
responded: “Because she is too ugly to kiss good-bye.”

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