My name is Sebastian Telfair and I am about to be let go from the Boston Celtics due to ridiculous accusations. I just got arrested last week for having a loaded gun in my car while driving 77 mph in a 45 mph zone with a suspended a license. I have been wrongly accused of things before since I arrived in the NBA. I was wrongly fined by my old team the Portland Trailblazers when they found a loaded gun in my pillowcase on the team’s private jet back in ‘05. I don’t know why everyone is picking on me, but I wish they would stop hatin!

Sincerely,

Sebastian